Written September 2003
Last edited September 10, 2003
Here is the result of a series of conversations on Grounding and Knowing between a friend and myself. In the past, she was focused on grounding, and I was focused on knowing. Especially for me, being able to see, value, embody, and articulate the understanding below has been a direct result of the increased grounding and balance I have gained through the 5 Rhythms movement practice. In her case, ecstatic dance has helped her to be more present and integrated so she can more effectively access what she already knows.
On the surface, this is more of a list of statements than an essay. It does flow on an intuitive level, if it is read slowly enough.
Grounding and knowing are tradeoffs; you can have all of one or the other, or part of both, but not all of both.
Now I discover that it’s so simple, all I need to do is ask "which side of the grounding and knowing seesaw am I on?" For now, until balance is achieved, if it’s not extremely urgent, I should be on the grounding side. Most people in North America will be on this side of the unbalance.
We know more than we think we do because physiological and emotional limits suppress the additional knowing, that we already have, which would overwhelm us if it reached our conscious mind.
In the process of pushing out the boundary of conscious knowing, additional knowing is gained, some of which is too difficult to deal with, and so the zone where knowing is suppressed is also pushed out. This means there will always be some knowing buried in our mind that it isn’t possible to cope with at that time.
Grounding brings the comfort and healing needed after the work and pain of bringing to the conscious some of the knowing that had previously been suppressed.
To experience a constant state of grounding requires constant maintenance.
Staying grounded and balanced automatically eliminates whole categories of problems which saves lots of time and energy, and increases freedom.
Once a solid level of grounding and balance is being maintained, it will free up time for other activities because creating the grounding takes more time and effort than maintaining it.
For a person who is focused on knowing, frequently perfectionism drives the whole cycle of unbalance, and then pushes the situation further until they loose their grounding.
Only grounding can diminish the potential for perfectionism and the attachments that help drive perfectionism.
Perspective requires knowing what spot you are looking towards, and knowing where you are looking from. Without grounding, it is very easy to loose track of where you are looking from, and so then you loose perspective. Worse yet, you might not even be aware of the loss of perspective because of the lack of grounding that caused the loss of perspective in the first place. Worst of all, the continuing loss of perspective makes it increasingly difficult to regain a state of grounding.
It is very easy to lose ones grounding, and then in this ungrounded state, a big challenge to regain the grounding.
Life is short, we must move very slowly.
A Shift: Instead of perfectionism, I'm now working on a balance that sustains life which is grounded and present, and allows the steady growth of knowing and understanding. This requires a carefully crafted mix of grounding and knowing.
Practicing a balance in grounding and knowing will increase the ability to listen.
As the skill in listening increases, the less dependant one will be on words. At a point it will become nearly impossible to avoid sharing information with a deep listener. Two people like this will be able to sit in a state of being grounded, motionless and silent together, and be unable to avoid a conversation that increases knowing.
Thus the spiral of an increase of both grounding and knowing grows.
May your day be filled with clarity, grace, joy, and laughter,
Roger
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